Please don't buy a drink and then realize that you don't have enough money to tip me so you come up with the following:
"I'll be right back with your tip!"
"I'll get you next time."
"I'll tip you at the end."
I know your not coming back, I wasn't born yesterday. Why on earth would you think we are stupid enough to fall for that line if you can barely pay for your first drink. If you do come back, don't bother coming to me! I don't want to waste my time or you will get served last, you're not my priority. Tipping at the end is only for credit card users. If you are paying with cash you pay as you go, you tip as you go.
Now I will add there are those few people that do come back to tip, and believe me, we WILL remember you.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I CAN'T HEAR YOU
So bars/clubs are usually loud right? So what makes you think I can hear you when you whisper? That's right I can't. After working in a place like that for a while our hearing tends to go. So when I have asked you to repeat yourself more than 3 times try speaking up so I can hear you. If your thoat hurts or your sick, stay home, I don't want to catch what you have. If you can't talk louder at least write it down or tell a friend to tell me. Also, listen up when I repeat your drink order, when I say scotch and water and you say yes and then get mad when you really wanted a vodka tonic, you are still going to pay for it.
Make out club.
Go to the corner, go to the bathroom stall, go to the alley out back, or go get a hotel room. Where ever you go don't go to my bar and make out! It's really distusting to watch two sloppy drunks go at it right in front of me. You have the option of walking away from me, I cannot walk away from you. So please just get it on somewhere else, I really don't want to see it. Oh, and she's not that cute anyway, and sweetheart he is old enough to be your dad!
Do you know who I am?
Do you know who I am? Nope and no one cares. You don't get served first, you wait like the rest of the common folk. Also, if you are throwing your money around, that's cool, but it is not an excuse or privilege to act like an ass and/or like you own the place. So calm down, lose the ego your no one special. Thanks!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Drink Names
Stop making up nick names for drinks.
I don't know what a "hendog" is. Is that Hennesy or Heineken?
A lit. WTF? I get that you mean Long Island, just say it, it's loud in here!
Oh and when you say cape cod you sound like a douche bag.
I don't know what a "hendog" is. Is that Hennesy or Heineken?
A lit. WTF? I get that you mean Long Island, just say it, it's loud in here!
Oh and when you say cape cod you sound like a douche bag.
Get our Attention
Shouting gets you nowhere. Snapping your fingers gets you nowhere. Slurping your drink louder then the music playing gets you no where. Screaming "EYY" gets you know where. Yelling out "Staff" because that's on the back of my shirt gets you no where. Yelling out the name on the back of my jersey (because it's bartender wears a jersey to work day) gets you no where. Waving your arms like you need to be rescued at sea gets you know where. Throwing something get you no where.
You will wait longer to get your drink so be paitent and I will be right with you.
Thanks.
You will wait longer to get your drink so be paitent and I will be right with you.
Thanks.
Short lesson on Ash trays
Ash trays are for ashes.
Enough said!
Keep your gum, chicken bones and whatever else you crazy people like to put in ash trays out. I have to clean that and it's gross.
Enough said!
Keep your gum, chicken bones and whatever else you crazy people like to put in ash trays out. I have to clean that and it's gross.
You're sooooo special!
Which one is the correct way to ask for discounnted drinks?
A.) What's Cheap?
B.) Do you have anything on special?
If you said B, CONGRATS you don't win a new car, but you get the right answer!
What's Cheap is you. You're bascially telling me you have no money and that every penny in the five dollars in your pocket is going straight towards getting you a drink and you are making us work for free. Awesome, I love going to work and working for nothing, don't you?!?
Asking what the specials are is just a better way of asking, I would be more then happy to tell you.
Also, lets say for fun, a type of vodka is on special. You can not modify a special. There are upcharges for extra liquor, or Redbull and even some places certain juices. Don't expect a Vodka, Peach Snapps, Triple Sec and Tequila with Redbull to be $3.00.
A.) What's Cheap?
B.) Do you have anything on special?
If you said B, CONGRATS you don't win a new car, but you get the right answer!
What's Cheap is you. You're bascially telling me you have no money and that every penny in the five dollars in your pocket is going straight towards getting you a drink and you are making us work for free. Awesome, I love going to work and working for nothing, don't you?!?
Asking what the specials are is just a better way of asking, I would be more then happy to tell you.
Also, lets say for fun, a type of vodka is on special. You can not modify a special. There are upcharges for extra liquor, or Redbull and even some places certain juices. Don't expect a Vodka, Peach Snapps, Triple Sec and Tequila with Redbull to be $3.00.
Home Sweet Bar
Treat your favorite watering hole, or any place for that matter, like you would treat your home. Please answer the following:
Do you eat a pile of chicken wings and leave bones all over the floor?
Do you stick gum all over the furniture at home?
Do you leave your trash all over your place?
Do you not see that trash can a foot away from where you are standing?
Do you puke all over your tables at home?
Would you want someone coming to your job or home and doing this to you? Not crying about having to clean up because that's part of having to work in a bar. But let's be honest, didn't anyone raise you better than to just leave crap everywhere and destory the place? That's not what going to a bar is. Be a good bar patron and throw your trash away.
Do you eat a pile of chicken wings and leave bones all over the floor?
Do you stick gum all over the furniture at home?
Do you leave your trash all over your place?
Do you not see that trash can a foot away from where you are standing?
Do you puke all over your tables at home?
Would you want someone coming to your job or home and doing this to you? Not crying about having to clean up because that's part of having to work in a bar. But let's be honest, didn't anyone raise you better than to just leave crap everywhere and destory the place? That's not what going to a bar is. Be a good bar patron and throw your trash away.
Match maker match maker make me a match...
My job is not to go to work everynight and play Match.com. I don't send drinks, love notes or relay messages because you either A.) have no balls to get up yourself and talk to someone. or B.) are way to lazy to move to the other side of the bar. I will not find out someone's sign, or what they like to do for fun or if they are a dog person or a cat person. I don't have time for that. Slam down a double shot of courage and do it yourself. Oh! and if you want to impress the person you are picking up, leave a big tip for the bartender (just thought I'd throw that in there).
Never Leave your drink unattended
I really shouldn't have to elaborate much further than the title. But those of you that still do not get it please continue to read.
Reason why you shouldn't:
1. Male or Female - Let's face it, there are some crazy people in this world. You never know if someone was stalking you all night and was waiting for the right chance to slip something in your drink. You should even be careful asking your friends to hold your drink. Also, don't ask me to watch it because I am not responsible for what happens to it.
2. Why would you want to leave your drink alone and then when you come back your not sure which one is yours?! I mean someone could be having a herpie outbreak and might have left their herpie juice all over the cup and now you are drinking out of it. Ewww...
3. You are all the sudden mad at me because I threw it away. If I see a half empty beer or drink on the bar with no one standing there drinking it, it's going in the trash because I like a clean bar. Not to mention, at the end of the night I have throw so many full drinks away because people just leave them there. How the heck am I supposed to know if this drink is done yet.
Bottom line, just keep your drink with you like it's your little new born baby.
Reason why you shouldn't:
1. Male or Female - Let's face it, there are some crazy people in this world. You never know if someone was stalking you all night and was waiting for the right chance to slip something in your drink. You should even be careful asking your friends to hold your drink. Also, don't ask me to watch it because I am not responsible for what happens to it.
2. Why would you want to leave your drink alone and then when you come back your not sure which one is yours?! I mean someone could be having a herpie outbreak and might have left their herpie juice all over the cup and now you are drinking out of it. Ewww...
3. You are all the sudden mad at me because I threw it away. If I see a half empty beer or drink on the bar with no one standing there drinking it, it's going in the trash because I like a clean bar. Not to mention, at the end of the night I have throw so many full drinks away because people just leave them there. How the heck am I supposed to know if this drink is done yet.
Bottom line, just keep your drink with you like it's your little new born baby.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Smile!
Why I’m so funny and why I have a dream to educate the world on how to act in a bar:
(The following events are a true story, name of the character has been changed due to completely humiliating this person.)
Weird creepy loser drunk guy: “Hey can I have a beer?”
The world’s most talented bartender on the east coast: “Sure…what kind?”
WCLDG: “Ugh…surprise me”
TWMTBOTEC: “Not really sure what you want, all we have left is Stella, Bud and Bud light”
WCLDG: “Aghhh forget it, I don’t have any money anyway.”
TWMTBOTEC: “So if you don’t have money to buy a beer, why did you order one?”
WCLDG: “Well, I could get one with my smile.”
WCLDG proceeds to smile and just proved that he has horrible genetics, never brushed and/or chewed on rocks everyday for 6 years.
TWMTBOTEC: “How about I give you two beers to never smile around me again?”
Yet another confused person on how to act in a bar. WCLDG…see what you don’t understand, is that a smile will only get you so far in life, a really bad smile will get you nowhere in life. So, spend some extra hours at the office, or whatever it is you do and save save save for that one time you have an urge to grab a beer. Money=beer.
(The following events are a true story, name of the character has been changed due to completely humiliating this person.)
Weird creepy loser drunk guy: “Hey can I have a beer?”
The world’s most talented bartender on the east coast: “Sure…what kind?”
WCLDG: “Ugh…surprise me”
TWMTBOTEC: “Not really sure what you want, all we have left is Stella, Bud and Bud light”
WCLDG: “Aghhh forget it, I don’t have any money anyway.”
TWMTBOTEC: “So if you don’t have money to buy a beer, why did you order one?”
WCLDG: “Well, I could get one with my smile.”
WCLDG proceeds to smile and just proved that he has horrible genetics, never brushed and/or chewed on rocks everyday for 6 years.
TWMTBOTEC: “How about I give you two beers to never smile around me again?”
Yet another confused person on how to act in a bar. WCLDG…see what you don’t understand, is that a smile will only get you so far in life, a really bad smile will get you nowhere in life. So, spend some extra hours at the office, or whatever it is you do and save save save for that one time you have an urge to grab a beer. Money=beer.
Bottle or Draft
A short lesson on Draft and Bottles.
Step by step instructions on how to order your favorite beer:
1. Get ready to go to the bar.
2. Put down your over powering cologne because you think it is going to get you laid tonight.
3. Think about what you want on the way to the bar (ahhh….remember this one??).
4. Walk up to the bar.
5. Take a second to survey the bar, there may be a bottle and draft selection in front of you (asking what’s on tap when the taps are in front of you make you look like illiterate asshole.)
6. Wait patiently for a bartender to greet you.
7. Order you favorite tasty beverage. If it is a beer, please specify if you would like your beer to come in draft or bottle form.
8. Pay and tip!
It’s that easy huh? See, some bartenders are not mind readers. We don’t know if you want draft or bottle. If we are busy and like 6 deep, we are going to give you a bottle. Pouring a draft takes a lot longer to get to you. So before you order your beer PLEASE tell us EXCATLY what it is you want.
Step by step instructions on how to order your favorite beer:
1. Get ready to go to the bar.
2. Put down your over powering cologne because you think it is going to get you laid tonight.
3. Think about what you want on the way to the bar (ahhh….remember this one??).
4. Walk up to the bar.
5. Take a second to survey the bar, there may be a bottle and draft selection in front of you (asking what’s on tap when the taps are in front of you make you look like illiterate asshole.)
6. Wait patiently for a bartender to greet you.
7. Order you favorite tasty beverage. If it is a beer, please specify if you would like your beer to come in draft or bottle form.
8. Pay and tip!
It’s that easy huh? See, some bartenders are not mind readers. We don’t know if you want draft or bottle. If we are busy and like 6 deep, we are going to give you a bottle. Pouring a draft takes a lot longer to get to you. So before you order your beer PLEASE tell us EXCATLY what it is you want.
A short lesson
It is not at any point okay to come behind any bartenders bar. I don't care if you think you are god (you egotistical asshole), you do not go behind any bartenders bar. I don't care if you have been bartending for 35 years, you do not go behind any bartenders bar. So what did we learn today?
Do not go behind any bartenders bar.
Do not go behind any bartenders bar.
Sign the slip
Make sure when you are closing out your tab that you completely fill out the credit card slip. That means you add a tip (if you are not tipping cash), you put the CORRECT total and then sign your name at the bottom. Not a big deal if the math is wrong, not a big deal if it took you 3 times to figure it out, and not a big deal if your signature looks like a 2 year old got to it. The big deal is leaving the tip and total blank. Leaving that blank should be fair game for me to put whatever I want there. It's like handing me a blank check. Not that I have ever done that before (I'm sure there are those dishonest folks out there). But there should be some kind of law that if someone stiffs us we should be entitled to a tip that is 20% of the bill….Just sayin'!
Pass the cash not the gas.
If you know that you ate something bad for dinner or you know you have a bad gas problem…stay in for the night. Don't come to my bar and fart. The problem is, bartenders are trapped behind the bar. When someone comes and drops their ass in on or around the bar, we have to stand there until your fart goes away. If you identify with any of these call it a movie night.
1. LDF – The long distance fart, or better known as the traveling fart. Just because you fart at one end of the bar doesn't mean we can't smell it on the other side and it is still killing us.
2. The Blamer – The person who farted and looks to the next person and blames it on them. Dude come on….you're the only one standing there….we know you did it.
3. The bust and run – We saw you come…..we smelt you leave. We will remember you the next time you come to the bar to get a drink…you may get served first but your drink will not be good.
4. The tormentor – You purposely fart around people and enjoy watching people gasp for air. I hope it burns your ass on the way out b/c that is not nice!
5. The Sharter - You farted earlier and didn't realize that you pooped a little and now a fart trail follows you and your friends feel bad for you and don't want to tell you, you A. Need to change your underwear and B. Get new friends.
The Bottom line is. Got Gas…STAY HOME! Do NOT keep farting at my bar.
Oh and if you did fart, you should leave a bigger and better tip for having me spend the next 60 secs gagging from your gas.
1. LDF – The long distance fart, or better known as the traveling fart. Just because you fart at one end of the bar doesn't mean we can't smell it on the other side and it is still killing us.
2. The Blamer – The person who farted and looks to the next person and blames it on them. Dude come on….you're the only one standing there….we know you did it.
3. The bust and run – We saw you come…..we smelt you leave. We will remember you the next time you come to the bar to get a drink…you may get served first but your drink will not be good.
4. The tormentor – You purposely fart around people and enjoy watching people gasp for air. I hope it burns your ass on the way out b/c that is not nice!
5. The Sharter - You farted earlier and didn't realize that you pooped a little and now a fart trail follows you and your friends feel bad for you and don't want to tell you, you A. Need to change your underwear and B. Get new friends.
The Bottom line is. Got Gas…STAY HOME! Do NOT keep farting at my bar.
Oh and if you did fart, you should leave a bigger and better tip for having me spend the next 60 secs gagging from your gas.
Don't hit on me
Please please whatever you do, do not hit on me; give me sad pick up lines; ask for my number or whatever you are trying to do to get free drinks. I know I look good, I looked in the mirror before I came to work, your pick up lines I heard from the guy that was in front of you and he paid double and my number is the same number as the bar I work at (How did that happen???). Since we are on this topic, a compliment does not mean you don't have to tip. It won't pay the bills and it won't support my shopping habit. Shut your trap and empty your wallet! J
Hit me with your best shot!!
When ordering a round of shots for you and your friends; pick one shot and stick with it. Don't come up to my bar when I super slammed and order 2 Dirty bong water, 1 Red Headed Slut, 1 Jack and 3 SoCo and limes. Do you know what a pain in the ass that is? I guarantee you that the next time you come to the bar you will go last just because of all the trouble you caused me, and since you suck at life you probably didn't tip all that great either. Now it's perfectly okay to order: 1 Jack, 1 Rumple mintz, and 3 Jagers because prepping the drink is just grabbing the bottle and pouring it. All shooters that take 2 minutes each to make (not to mention washing the tins and running all over the bar to grab ingredients) need to be the only shooter you order that round. Don't be so complicated, your wussy female friends need to plug their noses and throw the jack down the hatch, chase it with a coke and in no time the burning sensation will end.
Also, it's pretty much impossible to make one dirty bong water so don't order just one, grab a friend or make a new one and order two or more!
Also, it's pretty much impossible to make one dirty bong water so don't order just one, grab a friend or make a new one and order two or more!
Do's and Don'ts
Don't:
-Crumble your money up into a giant ball and throw it on the bar as form of payment (you get pissed off if I hand your crumbled money…don't hand it to me like that).
-Put your money in a puddle of water (or whatever liquid mess is on the bar).
-Put money on the beer tap drain (are you crazy???).
-Toss all your money on the bar and grab your drink and run (I need to make sure the exact amount is there…I'm not covering you).
-Sign your credit card slip in water and/or place it in water when you are done. OPEN YOUR EYES!
-Hand me wet and/or mangled up money (Get your shit straight! Our money is organized….so should yours!).
-Waste my time while you are scrambling to get your money.
-See if you have enough money to pay after you order and then realize you can't afford something and walk away (and if you have to borrow…at least get enough to tip you cheapie!).
Do:
-Put money in my hand.
-Put tip money in a dry spot on the bar.
-Give me ALL of your money J
-Have your money ready (from a previous vol.!!)
Fair enough??…..feel free to add some Do's and Don'ts!!
-Crumble your money up into a giant ball and throw it on the bar as form of payment (you get pissed off if I hand your crumbled money…don't hand it to me like that).
-Put your money in a puddle of water (or whatever liquid mess is on the bar).
-Put money on the beer tap drain (are you crazy???).
-Toss all your money on the bar and grab your drink and run (I need to make sure the exact amount is there…I'm not covering you).
-Sign your credit card slip in water and/or place it in water when you are done. OPEN YOUR EYES!
-Hand me wet and/or mangled up money (Get your shit straight! Our money is organized….so should yours!).
-Waste my time while you are scrambling to get your money.
-See if you have enough money to pay after you order and then realize you can't afford something and walk away (and if you have to borrow…at least get enough to tip you cheapie!).
Do:
-Put money in my hand.
-Put tip money in a dry spot on the bar.
-Give me ALL of your money J
-Have your money ready (from a previous vol.!!)
Fair enough??…..feel free to add some Do's and Don'ts!!
Even More on Ordering
This bothers me a lot as well as most of my bartender friends. When you order a drink these are the steps on how to do so:
1. Order
2. Pay
3. Tip
4. Drink
Simple huh? Well, some people usually mess this up by doing:
1. Order
2. Pass off to friends
3. Make up a ridiculous cheers that wasn't even slightly funny
4. Drink
5. Then pay
6. Tip accordingly (Most douche bags who use these steps don't)
So here's the deal, you need to pay before you take your drinks off the bar and before you drink them. You don't walk out of a store wearing your new shirt out on the town before paying for it right? Exactly! So order up, pay up, tip up and drink up. Thanks and happy ordering!
1. Order
2. Pay
3. Tip
4. Drink
Simple huh? Well, some people usually mess this up by doing:
1. Order
2. Pass off to friends
3. Make up a ridiculous cheers that wasn't even slightly funny
4. Drink
5. Then pay
6. Tip accordingly (Most douche bags who use these steps don't)
So here's the deal, you need to pay before you take your drinks off the bar and before you drink them. You don't walk out of a store wearing your new shirt out on the town before paying for it right? Exactly! So order up, pay up, tip up and drink up. Thanks and happy ordering!
Guy walks into a bar. Guy orders Whiskey Sour. Guy pays for drink. Guy comes back to complain.
Guy: "Excuse me, there is all triple sec in my drink and no whiskey. Can you pour some whiskey in here?"
Me: "Sir, when you get a whiskey sour, you get whiskey and sour mix, triple sec is not in your drink at all."
This humored me last night. Know what is in a drink when you order it. Whiskey sour is exactly what it is…there is no cranberry or scotch or anything else that is being kept a secret from the name of the drink. Whiskey sour means shot of whiskey and sour mix. Vodka Cranberry means vodka and cranberry juice.
Also someone asked me for a Pink Pussy last night. I don't know what's in it. Never heard of it or tried it. It's probably something that you had while you were on vacation in Cancun. So if you REALLY like a drink learn what is in it so when you come up to me to complain or order something so you don't look like a jack ass.
Guy: "Excuse me, there is all triple sec in my drink and no whiskey. Can you pour some whiskey in here?"
Me: "Sir, when you get a whiskey sour, you get whiskey and sour mix, triple sec is not in your drink at all."
This humored me last night. Know what is in a drink when you order it. Whiskey sour is exactly what it is…there is no cranberry or scotch or anything else that is being kept a secret from the name of the drink. Whiskey sour means shot of whiskey and sour mix. Vodka Cranberry means vodka and cranberry juice.
Also someone asked me for a Pink Pussy last night. I don't know what's in it. Never heard of it or tried it. It's probably something that you had while you were on vacation in Cancun. So if you REALLY like a drink learn what is in it so when you come up to me to complain or order something so you don't look like a jack ass.
D.D.
This pissed me off the other night along with any other night that this happens. This is more about common sense, which I will touch more on later. But just because you are the designated driver it does not entitle you to free nonalcoholic beverages. There is no metal, pin, badge of honor that you get or coupon because you chose not to drink that night. The people of this world thank you for not drinking and driving, but you still have to pay your $2.00 for that soda you want. Sorry. Next time, make your douche bag friends buy you a soda because they AT LEAST owe you for having to play babysitter that night.
More on ordering
When you order a drink, you need to order it in a certain way, or you will have a screwed up drink. For example: Customer: "I want cranberry vodka"Bartender: "How would you like the cranberry vodka?" See the problem here is that there is cranberry vodka. Since you have ordered the type of vodka you want, you need to specify how you would like this cranberry vodka. OH WAIT! You meant vodka with cranberry juice…..seeeeeee where you can confuse us?So be careful on your wording, I was just about to give you a shot of cranberry vodka…
Happy Birthday
Just because it is your birthday it does not entitle you to free shit. You do not get free drinks or shots. I don't see you coming to my bar on my birthday to bring me presents or buy me shots, so tell me…why should I give my bar away because it's your lame ass birthday. So next your birthday rolls around, make sure you have a good crew that is going to buy you drinks…because I am not….or any of my bartender friends! Thanks and Happy Birthday!
Don't touch!
Touching a bartender or server is never at any point appropriate. If you want to get our attention, you use the words "excuse me ma'am or sir." Grabbing someone by the arm and pulling them towards you will get you a drink thrown in your face and/or thrown out of the bar. If you do grab me, you will be served last. Since we are on the topic of touching, it is NEVER under any circumstances okay for you to touch someone in a sexual manor (i.e.: breast, behind, vagina, legs..etc…). Speaking from experience, I have been a waitress and my womanly parts have been grabbed at, I seriously went home and cried; it's not fun to be touched. Always keep your hands to yourself and don't objectify other people or touch someone as way to get someone's attention so your drunken ass can get another drink (you alcoholic!).
Credit Cards
Today's lesson is on credit cards. When you go out to the bar there are two forms of payment: 1. Cash 2. Credit cards. When you use a credit card you should only use it once or you should start a tab. Not every bar you go to is up to par with top notch credit card systems to where it is going to take 2.5 seconds to run your card every time. Not only that it takes a lot more then you think to run a credit card: we have to swipe, wait for it to print, wait for you to sign, make sure everything is right (for those that cannot add and who are not using someone else's credit card) and then close it out (which is usually a big pile at the end of the night that makes us stay longer). So here's the deal, since we know that you are the chronic credit card c*nt. We will make you wait longer. I already know that Joe over here has a tab or he is going to pay cash, and that you are the idiot that makes me spend an extra 5 minutes on your 6 dollar jack and coke. So don't complain why your drink or service is taking so long. Think about what you could be doing to slow up the process.
Ice Ice Baby
Stop Collaborate and listen....
Couple of things that you should know about ice
Less Ice does not mean you get more liquor. You either get
A. More juice or soda (The more juice or soda…the weaker your drink will taste and don't bitch at me when it taste weak).
B. A smaller drink.
Bartenders put the perfect amount of ice in your drink so that the liquor to juice/soda ratio makes your drink taste perfect.
Rocks is another word for ice.
Don't ask for a drink straight up on the rocks. You either want it straight up or you want it on the rocks.
If you order something on the rocks , most of the time it cost extra..stop crying over an extra two dollars, you get a ½ shot more than a regular drink.
Couple of things that you should know about ice
Less Ice does not mean you get more liquor. You either get
A. More juice or soda (The more juice or soda…the weaker your drink will taste and don't bitch at me when it taste weak).
B. A smaller drink.
Bartenders put the perfect amount of ice in your drink so that the liquor to juice/soda ratio makes your drink taste perfect.
Rocks is another word for ice.
Don't ask for a drink straight up on the rocks. You either want it straight up or you want it on the rocks.
If you order something on the rocks , most of the time it cost extra..stop crying over an extra two dollars, you get a ½ shot more than a regular drink.
Tips on tipping
A bartender will always remember you, your drink, the cup you want it in the perfect amount of soda to liquor ratio IF you tip them well right from the start. So throw down that extra couple dollars and I guarantee you will get served faster the next time you come to the bar.
How to tip: 1 drink 1 dollar; 2 drinks 2 dollars, etc….. When your bill gets to be over $25 then you should tip accordingly…it's kind of like you going out to eat but just a liquid dinner
Editors note: You can tip more than a dollar on a drink but for those cheapies that's the rule
You should tip on water and/or nonalcoholic beverages.
When you go out to eat you should tip on to-go food.
15% is standard but 20% is what you should tip.
Never leave change on the bar unless it accompanies bill(s). If you do, watch out for flying change.
Fellow Bartenders....feel free to add your input!
How to tip: 1 drink 1 dollar; 2 drinks 2 dollars, etc….. When your bill gets to be over $25 then you should tip accordingly…it's kind of like you going out to eat but just a liquid dinner
Editors note: You can tip more than a dollar on a drink but for those cheapies that's the rule
You should tip on water and/or nonalcoholic beverages.
When you go out to eat you should tip on to-go food.
15% is standard but 20% is what you should tip.
Never leave change on the bar unless it accompanies bill(s). If you do, watch out for flying change.
Fellow Bartenders....feel free to add your input!
Never ask to make it strong.
Here is why: It's a simple math problem. Read and Learn.
Drink+Strong=Buy a double
I can touch on this subject in many ways.
1. You asking for a strong drink and will "hook me up". Your extra dollar doesn't count as hooking me up. You better throw down a five or ten, and since you're claiming to "hook me up" why don't you just buy a double? Because the amount of money you need to "hook me up" can go in to my register. Oh and tip on the double thanks.
2. Please stop calling long islands strong Island. Sorry I don't know what's in a strong island…NEXT!
3. When you ask for a strong drink I want to make it weak. In fact you will get a really quick 3 count. I'm sorry what was that lots of soda in your drink…oops I misheard you.
4. Most bars have inventory, I'm not going to risk my job just because a bunch of people are always asking for STRONG drinks for free, stop being cheap
5. Learn about alcohol percentage if you are so concerned about getting drunk quicker (and if that's the case, maybe you have a problem).
Drink+Strong=Buy a double
I can touch on this subject in many ways.
1. You asking for a strong drink and will "hook me up". Your extra dollar doesn't count as hooking me up. You better throw down a five or ten, and since you're claiming to "hook me up" why don't you just buy a double? Because the amount of money you need to "hook me up" can go in to my register. Oh and tip on the double thanks.
2. Please stop calling long islands strong Island. Sorry I don't know what's in a strong island…NEXT!
3. When you ask for a strong drink I want to make it weak. In fact you will get a really quick 3 count. I'm sorry what was that lots of soda in your drink…oops I misheard you.
4. Most bars have inventory, I'm not going to risk my job just because a bunch of people are always asking for STRONG drinks for free, stop being cheap
5. Learn about alcohol percentage if you are so concerned about getting drunk quicker (and if that's the case, maybe you have a problem).
Knowing what you want.
So you have made plans to go out, you need to get ready, you have to walk/drive to the bar. This is the time to think about what you want when you get to the bar. Now not every bar has exactly what you want, so make sure you have a backup plan. Think about 2-3 drinks that you would like while you are headed out. When you go to a bar that's dead (not busy) it's okay to take a few minutes to decide what it is you want, but when it is jam packed in there, you should already have your drink in mind.
Bartender: "What can I get ya?"
You: "ummmmm……"
Bartender "Next…"
Don't be mad we skipped you; it's not our fault that you're indecisive. We want to help those that are ready and they know what they want so we don't have to make people wait longer for a drink.
Also, Bud light, Miller Light, Coors Light…they all taste the same…get over it….Don't go shitting bricks because we don't have the one you wan
Bartender: "What can I get ya?"
You: "ummmmm……"
Bartender "Next…"
Don't be mad we skipped you; it's not our fault that you're indecisive. We want to help those that are ready and they know what they want so we don't have to make people wait longer for a drink.
Also, Bud light, Miller Light, Coors Light…they all taste the same…get over it….Don't go shitting bricks because we don't have the one you wan
Ordering through one bartender
This is a very important lesson. When you go to the bar, when it is your turn to order you should always order through one bartender. You don't need to send two people all over the bar to fetch things for you as if this is a contest to see who can get your drinks faster. Not only did you waste one person's time, you also made it so another person is going to complain "what's taking so long" (which could be you one time), and you also wasted alcohol which is abuse (you and I both know that).
Also, because you wasted that beer, don't turn around and think that it's free just because its extra…..honestly I should make you pay for it b/c you had ordered twice!
Scenario:
You're at the bar, you ordered a bud light. The bartender leaves to go get that for you when all of the sudden another bartender comes and ask you what you need. You say "No thanks I'm being helped already." PROBLEM SOLVED!
So save someone a trip, help other people get served faster, order through one bartender and DON'T WASTE!
Editors' note: These are tips to show people that have never been in the service industry why they are complaining about a drinking taking too long, or they have been waiting for a while to be acknowledged. Please understand that this is not a bitch fest for me….it's simply a list of things that you can change so you never have to be the person waiting to get a drink and you will never have to complain again!
Also, because you wasted that beer, don't turn around and think that it's free just because its extra…..honestly I should make you pay for it b/c you had ordered twice!
Scenario:
You're at the bar, you ordered a bud light. The bartender leaves to go get that for you when all of the sudden another bartender comes and ask you what you need. You say "No thanks I'm being helped already." PROBLEM SOLVED!
So save someone a trip, help other people get served faster, order through one bartender and DON'T WASTE!
Editors' note: These are tips to show people that have never been in the service industry why they are complaining about a drinking taking too long, or they have been waiting for a while to be acknowledged. Please understand that this is not a bitch fest for me….it's simply a list of things that you can change so you never have to be the person waiting to get a drink and you will never have to complain again!
String Ordering
String ordering – Verb- To order a lot of drinks one by one as each are made.
So this is probably in the top 5 biggest pet peeves bartenders have. It's a little bit more than just a pet peeve. In fact, we hate this and we hate you if you do this to us. It really makes us want to drop coconut covered tootsie rolls in your drink so you never come back an order from us again (coconut covered tootsie rolls = cat sh!t). So here is the deal. Most of the time it takes a while for someone to be promoted to the bar, most of the time bar owners and managers tend to hire people with experience. With that said, bartenders are kind of professionals behind there. So, just order everything you need when you need it, we do have the mental capacity to remember 5-6 drinks at a time. Don't tell me you need another corona after I have already run and got you one. Don't order more drinks after you have paid and expect me to come right back to you. Now you have to wait because handing your money over is the sign for "I have everything I need; now I want to pay you for it." There are other people waiting also, so do everyone a favor: order everything you need when it is your turn AND point out all the string ordering people so we can make them wait longer.
Editors note: Not all bartenders can be winners, that's why I used the word "most"
So this is probably in the top 5 biggest pet peeves bartenders have. It's a little bit more than just a pet peeve. In fact, we hate this and we hate you if you do this to us. It really makes us want to drop coconut covered tootsie rolls in your drink so you never come back an order from us again (coconut covered tootsie rolls = cat sh!t). So here is the deal. Most of the time it takes a while for someone to be promoted to the bar, most of the time bar owners and managers tend to hire people with experience. With that said, bartenders are kind of professionals behind there. So, just order everything you need when you need it, we do have the mental capacity to remember 5-6 drinks at a time. Don't tell me you need another corona after I have already run and got you one. Don't order more drinks after you have paid and expect me to come right back to you. Now you have to wait because handing your money over is the sign for "I have everything I need; now I want to pay you for it." There are other people waiting also, so do everyone a favor: order everything you need when it is your turn AND point out all the string ordering people so we can make them wait longer.
Editors note: Not all bartenders can be winners, that's why I used the word "most"
Realizing you're not the only person in the bar.
So you're out on a Friday night and you go into a busy bar and want a drink. You squeeze your way into a nice little spot at the bar to buy a round of drinks. What do you do?
A. Wait patiently with your money in your hand (because when the bartender sees you he knows you're ready to pay.)
B. Wave your arms at them frantically and shout out "AY!" because that's what you think will get you served faster.
C. Throw something at the bartender.
D. Take a few minutes to decide what it is you want so other people have to wait longer (which is bad karma b/c some other douche bag will do it to you).
E. B and C
F. B and D
G. All of the above.
If you said B C D E F or G please come to my house so I can Bitch Slap you. If you said A you are on your very to becoming a great human being!! It's good to be a little aggressive so we know you are standing there waiting for a drink. But, if we don't make eye contact with you right away 9 times out of 10 it's because we are busy with another customer. So wait your turn and like I've said before "Have your money ready" Paper or plastic….we don't care!
Also, realizing you are not the only person in the bar, grab your drink and go. This is a no parking zone if the bar is mad busy. Let other people through so when you are ready for your next drink you have no problems trying to get to the bar. Most bars do have tables or drink rails you can go stand at, so use them….they are there for a reason.
A. Wait patiently with your money in your hand (because when the bartender sees you he knows you're ready to pay.)
B. Wave your arms at them frantically and shout out "AY!" because that's what you think will get you served faster.
C. Throw something at the bartender.
D. Take a few minutes to decide what it is you want so other people have to wait longer (which is bad karma b/c some other douche bag will do it to you).
E. B and C
F. B and D
G. All of the above.
If you said B C D E F or G please come to my house so I can Bitch Slap you. If you said A you are on your very to becoming a great human being!! It's good to be a little aggressive so we know you are standing there waiting for a drink. But, if we don't make eye contact with you right away 9 times out of 10 it's because we are busy with another customer. So wait your turn and like I've said before "Have your money ready" Paper or plastic….we don't care!
Also, realizing you are not the only person in the bar, grab your drink and go. This is a no parking zone if the bar is mad busy. Let other people through so when you are ready for your next drink you have no problems trying to get to the bar. Most bars do have tables or drink rails you can go stand at, so use them….they are there for a reason.
Get Ready For Me!!!
Hello all! I am compiling a list of tips that will help you understand what it is like for those people that work in the service industry and how to act accordingly when you go out in public. Since there is a lot to cover, I will break them down into shorter blogs that stay on one topic. So be sure to keep checking back....because you could be that douche bag that gets talked about at the end of the night or who we make wait longer for drinks.
Our first topic will be:
Have Your Money Ready.
There is nothing worse than an impatience person standing at the bar flagging you (you=bartender/server) down, ordering a drink and then spending the next 5 minutes after your drink(s) is already made scrabbling to get your money together. Seriously? You just made a big deal to get served fast and efficient...now you just slowed me up because you don't have yourself together. There are 20 other people just like you slowing me down. So the next time you complain about fast service, think to yourself: Could YOU possibly be the reason it takes a little bit longer to get a drink. Take this scenario for example:
Joe and 3 of his buddies go out to the bar. Joe kindly tells his friends that he is going to buy the first round. We have 2 draft beers, rum and coke and a vodka red bull. We will assume beer is $5, rum and coke (rail which is cheaper) $5 and Vodka red bull AT LEAST $9 (depending on the vodka of course). So at this point while you are waiting for drinks, take the time to do a little guesstimate of what the first round will cost. 5+5+5+9=24 So Have $30 ready, because it could be a few dollar price difference and you need to tip. Problem solved and you just got your drinks faster and you made someone's night a little bit easier.
Our first topic will be:
Have Your Money Ready.
There is nothing worse than an impatience person standing at the bar flagging you (you=bartender/server) down, ordering a drink and then spending the next 5 minutes after your drink(s) is already made scrabbling to get your money together. Seriously? You just made a big deal to get served fast and efficient...now you just slowed me up because you don't have yourself together. There are 20 other people just like you slowing me down. So the next time you complain about fast service, think to yourself: Could YOU possibly be the reason it takes a little bit longer to get a drink. Take this scenario for example:
Joe and 3 of his buddies go out to the bar. Joe kindly tells his friends that he is going to buy the first round. We have 2 draft beers, rum and coke and a vodka red bull. We will assume beer is $5, rum and coke (rail which is cheaper) $5 and Vodka red bull AT LEAST $9 (depending on the vodka of course). So at this point while you are waiting for drinks, take the time to do a little guesstimate of what the first round will cost. 5+5+5+9=24 So Have $30 ready, because it could be a few dollar price difference and you need to tip. Problem solved and you just got your drinks faster and you made someone's night a little bit easier.
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