Match maker match maker make me a match...

My job is not to go to work everynight and play Match.com. I don't send drinks, love notes or relay messages because you either A.) have no balls to get up yourself and talk to someone. or B.) are way to lazy to move to the other side of the bar. I will not find out someone's sign, or what they like to do for fun or if they are a dog person or a cat person. I don't have time for that. Slam down a double shot of courage and do it yourself. Oh! and if you want to impress the person you are picking up, leave a big tip for the bartender (just thought I'd throw that in there).