Condoms

Yes...we should all use them. However, we should not use them to tip. Please do NOT leave your condoms on my bar.

Thanks.

Next time

Please don't buy a drink and then realize that you don't have enough money to tip me so you come up with the following:

"I'll be right back with your tip!"
"I'll get you next time."
"I'll tip you at the end."

I know your not coming back, I wasn't born yesterday. Why on earth would you think we are stupid enough to fall for that line if you can barely pay for your first drink. If you do come back, don't bother coming to me! I don't want to waste my time or you will get served last, you're not my priority. Tipping at the end is only for credit card users. If you are paying with cash you pay as you go, you tip as you go.

Now I will add there are those few people that do come back to tip, and believe me, we WILL remember you.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU

So bars/clubs are usually loud right? So what makes you think I can hear you when you whisper? That's right I can't. After working in a place like that for a while our hearing tends to go. So when I have asked you to repeat yourself more than 3 times try speaking up so I can hear you. If your thoat hurts or your sick, stay home, I don't want to catch what you have. If you can't talk louder at least write it down or tell a friend to tell me. Also, listen up when I repeat your drink order, when I say scotch and water and you say yes and then get mad when you really wanted a vodka tonic, you are still going to pay for it.

Make out club.

Go to the corner, go to the bathroom stall, go to the alley out back, or go get a hotel room. Where ever you go don't go to my bar and make out! It's really distusting to watch two sloppy drunks go at it right in front of me. You have the option of walking away from me, I cannot walk away from you. So please just get it on somewhere else, I really don't want to see it. Oh, and she's not that cute anyway, and sweetheart he is old enough to be your dad!

Do you know who I am?

Do you know who I am? Nope and no one cares. You don't get served first, you wait like the rest of the common folk. Also, if you are throwing your money around, that's cool, but it is not an excuse or privilege to act like an ass and/or like you own the place. So calm down, lose the ego your no one special. Thanks!

Drink Names

Stop making up nick names for drinks.

I don't know what a "hendog" is. Is that Hennesy or Heineken?

A lit. WTF? I get that you mean Long Island, just say it, it's loud in here!

Oh and when you say cape cod you sound like a douche bag.

Get our Attention

Shouting gets you nowhere. Snapping your fingers gets you nowhere. Slurping your drink louder then the music playing gets you no where. Screaming "EYY" gets you know where. Yelling out "Staff" because that's on the back of my shirt gets you no where. Yelling out the name on the back of my jersey (because it's bartender wears a jersey to work day) gets you no where. Waving your arms like you need to be rescued at sea gets you know where. Throwing something get you no where.

You will wait longer to get your drink so be paitent and I will be right with you.

Thanks.